Although I am new to WordPress, this is not my first blog. I was a very active blogger for some time back in the early 2000s until maybe a few years ago. I started around 2003 and my blog was pretty active until my job finally took almost all my time and other social media platforms practically took over my life. Uhm, hello, Twitter! Waving *furiously* to Facebook and Instagram! Still, I did make sure that my blog stayed alive by posting every now and then. It’s just a shame that I couldn’t keep it as active as it was before and that’s not for lack of things to write about. Blame it on the fact that I’m just one human being with only 24 hours every day!
You know that song, Video Killed a Radio Star? I think that sums up what happened to me as a blogger. Twitter killed the blogger in me! I loved Facebook when I first found it, but Twitter! Oh, Twitter was a gamechanger for me! The challenge of summing up how I feel or what’s on my mind in 140 precious characters? That gave me some unexplainable high! I gravitated towards tweeting and my blogging became less and less frequent. And then, a few months ago, I felt an urge to go back to blogging so I decided it was time to dust off my poor, dying blog! It was time for a recharge!
One beautiful night, I was trying to decide what the perfect topic was for my comeback when I ended up watching videos on YouTube. Yup, I very easily get distracted like that! Anyway, I came upon this Girlfriend Tag that they had going on. Most of the videos were, hmm, quite interesting. And, some were so boring that I couldn’t even finish them. But, but, but, the most interesting ones that I found were made by some lesbian YouTubers. From there, I found myself jumping from one lesbian-owned YouTube channel to another. I found so many amazing girls and women. I devoured all Coming Out stories I came upon and almost every single one of these stories made me cry. Some because I felt so happy for them, some because their stories were so sad and heartbreaking. Most importantly, I could relate to most of their struggles before their coming out. Another thing that blew my mind was the fact that most of these lesbians are so young, some barely even out of their teenage years! This made me ponder and think to myself, “What the hell are you doing with your life? These girls are so young, but they’re already making such a difference in the world! They’re so confident and so out and proud! What are you still doing acting straight as fuck and buried in the deepest part of the closet?”
That same night, I broke down and cried because I realized that even if I really want to, I don’t exactly possess such courage and bravery these girls have. That really hit me hard! I envy them like I’ve never envied anyone in my life. Not in a bad way, of course. And then, I had a light-bulb moment! I realized that I could still share my experiences even if I’m not out just yet! Instead of going back to my original blog, I could start a new one that basically highlights my experience as a closeted lesbian and chronicles my coming out one slow step after another! And, in the process, I might even be able to help someone who might stumble upon my “secret” blog like I did those amazing YouTube channels. Why the hell not? Right?! This was my reason for starting this blog.
I will still post on my original blog, but the content will obviously be very different from my content here for a number of reasons. First, well, I use my real identity and my complete name in that blog and, as if I haven’t mentioned it more than enough, I am not out. Second, a lot of people I know actually follow that blog. Third, that blog is connected to my Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and other social media accounts. These are also the reasons why I can’t post the link to that blog here. Haha! Not until I’ve officially come out, at least. For now, I’m very excited about this blog and I fully intend to keep it active.
For my sort of rebirth as a blogger, I am thanking my favorite lesbian creators and channel owners over at YouTube! Shoutout to y’all, girlfriends! ❤